Jokes On You
by Larania Drake
Summary: Syaoran has returned to Japan, to continue his courtship of Sakura- only he might be too late, and he finds that he may be trapped completely in his gilded cage.
1. Default Chapter

** Jokes On You**

****

Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura does not belong to me and I make no money at all from this work of fanfiction.

            It always seemed to be the stormy days, he thought, looking out over his well groomed lawn and absently petting Suppi-chan, who was in his lap, looking up at him.

            Lately, Eriol amended. Although he supposed he could count snow as stormy, depending on how you looked at it... His thoughts trailed off. He was trying to distract himself from what had happened with trivialities. Frankly, he hadn't wanted to remember. It seemed like so long ago... and a warning that no good deed goes unpunished.

~*~*~*~*~

Two months earlier:

            It had been some time since Eriol had seen Sakura. In fact, a good five, six years now. He had left for England to be with Kaho... and he had been happy, for a little while.

            Until they had grown apart. 

            It had been raining then, too. 

            Shaking his head at things he'd rather forget, the dark haired young man- who had grown a great deal since he had last seen Sakura, opened the door to see the pixie like young sorceress who had taken charge of Clow's Cards.

            "To what do I owe this honor?" he asked, blinking in surprise. He hadn't sensed her, hadn't had the tiniest bit of precognition of her coming- and he realized how much more powerful she had become, to block him so completely. Then he realized her prudence- he didn't have time to come up with any tricks.

            Sakura didn't answer immediately, looking around, then at the floor and finally sighing.

            "I need to ask for a favor."

            Smiling wryly at her, he invited her in, and offered some tea. She politely declined, sitting with a bit of nervousness, not meeting his eyes.

            Fetching himself a pot, he did so without magic, so he could observe his guest. She had hit her awkward stage- her limbs just a little too long and gangly, he thought. She must be having a growth spurt. It promised her height, and he could imagine the heartbreaker she would eventually become. Sakura's green eye's still sparkled with life despite her nerves, her hair still in a short, slightly different bob. 

            "How can I help you?" he murmured, still watching her as he sipped his tea.

            "I need to ask you," she fiddled with the hem of her school uniform. "Isthereawaytomakeguyspregnant?"

            The sorcerer blinked. "HOOO-EE?" He couldn't have heard that right- and no other expression would have summed up his reaction.

            "Well-well-" Sakura cringed. "Is there?"

            Eriol was grateful he was sitting down.

            "Is there a way to make guys pregnant? May I ask WHY you are asking such a question?"

            Sakura, by this time, was flushed so red that Eriol had to wonder if she had accidentally swallowed one of Li's fire charms.

            "Uh, well," she played more with her skirt, her face turning sad. "I can't find a way to give Touya his power back."

            The reincarnation of Clow nodded, trying to follow her logic.

            "And," she took another deep breath. "It- I can't think of any way to pay him back, you see. See- he and Yukito-san went to Canada and got married... but they haven't been able to adopt any children. I'm afraid," she sniffled, covered it quickly and looked back up at her former tormentor. "I'm afraid that his power loss is going to make him die before he and Yukito can adopt and I want him to be happy and he and Yukito really want kids and this is all I can think to give them."

            Eriol tried for a moment to track her reasoning, and got a little dizzy about midway through. However- he could see a bit of where she was going.

            "Why don't you surrogate a child for them then?"

            "I don't know if that is possible," she scratched her head. "Yukito is a magical being, after all."

            Eriol propped his chin on his fist, thinking.

            "I'll have to think about this," he admitted. "I don't know if its been done before or not. It MIGHT be possible... I assume that the one bearing will be Yukito?"

            Sakura shrugged. "I don't know."

            Eriol frowned. Something didn't sound right there... However-

            "I'll consult my books and see what I can come up with. Have you had any luck?"

            The younger girl shook her head. "If I had- would I have come to you?"

~*~*~*~*~

            Sighing, Sakura left Eriol's mansion, smiling at Ruby Moon as she exited, and found Tomoyo waiting for her outside. 

            "How did it go?" the dark haired beauty smiled, her very blue eyes twinkling.

            "I think he'll do it," Sakura sighed in relief, nearly sagging against Tomoyo, and they shared an umbrella to walk back home. 

            "So, it worked?"

            Sakura nodded, and carefully covered a smile, linking arms with her best friend. 

            "Like a charm! Or a Card!" she caroled, relief threading her voice. Nearly skipping, the two girls headed to Sakura's house. Despite the rain, they were happy.

~*~*~*~*~

            Ruby Moon stared out at them, and wondered… The two girls were walking a little too closely. Smiling faintly, the transvestite Moon Guardian wished them luck… and that the results wouldn't be too disasterous.

~*~*~*~*~*~

            Three weeks later:

            "Eureka! I think I have it!" Eriol exclaimed, jumping to his feet as his latest bit of magical experimentation bore fruit- perhaps this time literally.

            "Master?" Spinel asked, confused.

            "Oh- its what great geniuses such as myself yell when they have come to the solution of a problem."

            "I know what it means, Eriol," Spinel Sun said with strained patience. "But why didn't you just cackle evilly the way you usually do?"

            "I'm doing this as a favor," he said answered reasonably. "Not to torment the citizens of Tomoeda."

            "Ah."

            "Of course, it was almost pathetically simple once I started looking for it," the half-reincarnation muttered. "Though there are some limitations, it will need refinements," he wandered off, still muttering. Spinel sighed. It looked like his favorite evil wizard was at it again…

To be continued!

A/N: I have read more of the manga than seen the series, but my knowledge is still holey. If I get the characterization wrong, please tell me.


	2. Chapter Two

Jokes On You II

  
  


Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura does not belong to me and I make no money from this work of fan fiction at all.

  
  


One week later:

Syaoran had been looking forward to coming back to Japan for the past three years. 

He had been training to be Clan head, training his magic, learning the secrets of his clan... It had been both a frightening and a fascinating experience. Also boring, and tedious, and so...

So trapping. 

His fate was bound to his Clan, and thank all of the gods that he had Sakura to lift his soul.

The plane trip back was uneventful- he had slept most of the way. His dreams had been of the fun times he had with Sakura. He loved her joy of life, her way of brightening every room she was in, of bringing happiness to all who loved her...

~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  


Eriol yawned widely, his glasses slipping down his nose as he stretched in his massive chair. He had figured out the theory of how his male pregnancy charm would work, it was more or less a matter of testing it. 

Sort of... it wasn't like he could just waltz up to some strange man and ask them to swallow this little seed charm and tell them to get screwed by another man. He briefly contemplated the expression on his victim's face- and the pounding he would probably get if he didn't have his guardian's with him- and smiled faintly. He had actually enjoyed this particular project. It DID have its limitations- the person carrying the child had to have at least the potential for magic. While it was more widespread than most people would believe, it was still uncommon. The spell actually worked on the theory that of a man's magic nurturing the artificial womb, the 'seed' he would swallow. The partners would need to mate- but it was more in the joining of hearts and spirits entailed in the act than just sex. This was the spell portion of his experiment. 

He'd gotten the idea from how he'd made the Guardians. They were made from bringing the essences of the Sun and the Moon and making bodies for them, which wasn't that much different from what he was trying here... only he would be using the DNA from both partners and letting the infant grow normally. In fact, it was a great deal EASIER than Guardian formation... To bad Clow hadn't know that.

He hadn't worked out the details of the birthing either, which also made for some complications.

Getting up, he stretched and looked around, finding Spinel engrossed in some book or another, Ruby singing softly to her/himself and looking at some clothes.

He frowned faintly, despite how everything seemed right with the world. He had the nagging suspicion he had missed something and he was going bats because of it. Eriol had updated Sakura on his progress, and while she seemed pleased, she was acting... He sighed in exasperation. She was keeping a secret. 

She had to be- there was no other reason for her to be acting so jumpy around him. Yet what could it be? 

He searched his mind for what it could be- and realized that she must not have told Yukito and Touya what she had in mind. Of course, that made sense... She didn't want them to get their hopes up. She was always kind... 

It wasn't like Sakura could, or would, ever hurt someone on purpose, right?

~*~*~*~*~*~

Sakura was smiling in her usual, genki sort of way... and no one but Tomoyo could have told it was false. 

The past three years had been hard on Sakura. Without Syaoran there, she had been terribly lonely. It had been hard watching her Sakura go through that- all she could do, with the help of Keroberos, was assure that she WASN'T alone- that she would always have people there who loved her.

"Do you think the plane was delayed?" the Card Mistress asked, bouncing slightly on her toes and checking her watch for the tenth time in the last three minutes.

"No- we would have seen it on the marquee," Tomoyo gently reminded her, again. 

They were standing in crowded airport, people bustling about- which meant that Kero-chan had to stay in Sakura's purse. Yue would have come as well to guard his mistress, but Sakura had assured him that it wasn't necessary... The fact that Touya was home with a cold might have had something to do with it. It was amazing how he needed to have Yukito/Yue take care of him when he was usually so self-reliant that the idea of his little sister trying to help at all made him instantly well...

Ahem, back to the story.

Sakura sighed, smiling a little at a store of plush toys in the airport, reminded a wee bit of the Jump card capture and looking around again, standing on her tip toes to see Syaoran above the crowd. It wasn't exactly working.

"I'm so worried that things aren't going to work," Sakura said quietly, still scanning the mass of humanity around her. Tomoyo gave her a quick hug as an answer.

"You can do this," her friend whispered back, catching Sakura's green eyes. They stayed locked like that, until Tomoyo gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

~*~*~*~*~

  
  


The head of the Li clan had nearly skipped off the plane, to the baggage claim area, when he got off. To see Sakura again... He could sense her there, and he honed in on it like a guided missel. 

Moving quietly, he tried to get to Sakura without her seeing him.

He was there in time to see Tomoyo kiss Sakura on the cheek, and the loving smile the latter bestowed on the former.

It didn't take more than that for him to realize he had lost her. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  


Eriol had woken up from a nice afternoon nap in a grumpy mood. The phone was screaming in his ear and he really wanted to blow it up... but he got the impression that the phone call might be important.

Fumbling with his glasses, the young/old man muttered some impressive Chinese curses before picking up the phone, head still covered in blankets.

"Moshi moshi... Sakura? What's wrong?" 

He could hear hysterical sobbing on the other end, before Tomoyo must have grabbed it.

"You can't find Syaoran?" that surprise burned out most of the sleepiness. "My cute little descendent got off the plane... but you can't tell where he went afterwards?"

Tomoyo's soft answer was //Hai, desu wa.//

"What are you calling me for?"

//Sakura can't concentrate enough to find him- she has tried, but since he doesn't seem to want to be found, she isn't having any luck. Sakura is not familiar with the type of magic Li-kun uses- you might be, so she called you for help. Could you please help us look?//

Eriol was already pulling some more presentable clothes on, ear still to the phone.

"I can-" he gestured, and Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun were before him, looking confused but attentive. "I'll talk to you again when I find anything," he said with the utmost confidence. "Same number? Right? Okay, talk to you later. Get Sakura home. Yes, yes- your welcome. Bye."

It took only a few minutes for Eriol to explain things to his Guardians... who looked like they were about to laugh. Shaking his head, he pulled on a rain coat- with an extra spell to stay dry- and headed out into the drizzle.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  


Sakura sniffled, knees tucked up close to her as she blew her nose. 

"Do you think he bought it?" she asked her companion, who was rubbing her back soothingly.

"He swallowed it all like pocky," Tomoyo smiled charmingly. "I know this wasn't how you wanted Syaoran to find out... but this might work out all the better since Eriol will find him."

Sakura gave a watery chuckle. "I didn't want to hurt him... but," she gave Tomoyo a swift, fond kiss, a promise of more later. "But this saves us a lot of explanations."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  


Syaoran hadn't really gone all that far. After seeing what he'd seen on Sakura's face, he'd been hit with the painful realization that... He wasn't her special person anymore. He'd expected to see nervousness and anticipation on his cherry blossom's face. What he had seen had been adoration- what he was use to seeing... directed at Tomoyo. 

Thus, he had followed the time honored tradition of many males in similar situations... Well, sort of similar, he didn't think many men had their sorceress girlfriend's leave them for rich heiresses... 

He got drunk. No, drunk was too mild a word. He got SMASHED. 

The little wolf had been given a lot of money for courting Sakura from his mother- she seemed to think it was a good idea for him to 'treat her right' while he was there. He didn't see the reason for it now. So, he went out and started raiding beer vending machines.

Not the smartest move, but he didn't even want to go into a bar. He just wanted to wander, and become as lost as he felt, despite the drizzle making his clothing stick to his skin.

Syaoran's heart beat against the web of despair it was caught in, but the sticky substance solidified around him like amber until all he could see was the pain he was caught it.

Oh, he wasn't stupid. In retrospect, the love he felt for Sakura was for things about her- for a friend. He loved her because... His thoughts stumbled as a car drove by and tried to drown him with water thrown in his face.

Blinking away the muddy filth, he realized he was on a bridge.

"I loved her because she was an escape from something I couldn't bare," he gritted his teeth against this. "I loved her because she had such a care free life, despite Capturing the Cards. I- I- envied her," he leaned over the side, looking at the churning waters below him. "I loved her as a way out..."

He wouldn't have noticed his tears in the rain if they hadn't been so hot when he felt so icy. The little wolf could feel the world narrowing around him, the walls shrinking. Soon the bars of his cage would kill him.

He couldn't let that happen. He'd rather die by his own hand first. He wouldn't go back to that gilded prison. He didn't love Meilin. He didn't want to become like his mother, a porcelain, unemotional doll who had produced child after child until she had finally born the much coveted son for their Clan.

He'd rather die...

Sighing, the Head of the Li Clan tossed his talisman sword off his neck and dropped his suitcase and beer, before hauling himself over the side, balancing for a precarious moment- and let himself drop.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  


Chinese was a wonderful language to swear in.

Which is EXACTLY what Eriol did when he saw that his cute little descendent had decided to do one of the stupidest things imaginable- which was fall into a swollen river.

Snarling, he didn't even think to use a levitation spell as he dived over the edge, grabbing his descendent's hand, and nearly fell in himself.

"RUBY MOON?" he couldn't use his hands to cast a spell at that moment- they were a little busy.

His Guardian nearly didn't make it. The Reincarnation of Clow Reed's hands were slipping in the wet concrete- and he fell, yelping, not even able to utter a simple spell before they hit the raging waters.

THEN his Guardian's showed up.

Eriol groaned as he was tossed in the water for a good five minutes, and Syaoran had taken the brunt of the fall. He was out cold, and Eriol grunted as he struggled to keep the unconscious boy above the water- and he finally felt a pair of hands gripping his arms to pull him up.

"Its about BLOODY TIME!" he growled, or would have, had he not been trying to cough up water. He and Li were brought to shore, and his Guardians landed in front of him, looking sheepish.

"You split us up, remember?" Spinel Sun pointed out logically. Eriol, however, would have none of that. He was wet, despite his raincoat and spell, cold, pissed, and his descendent had done something incredibly stupid. He wasn't exactly sure WHY yet... but he was still pissed. And being bedraggled was NOT good for his cool all knowing sorcerer image. 

THAT was unforgivable.

"We are going home now," he growled, pulling free his Key. "When we get there, you, Ruby Moon, are going to make dinner for Syaoran and myself- and NONE for you." She whimpered.

"You, Spinel Sun, are going to get our baths ready, and some clean clothes. Got it?" Spinel, who knew better than to argue, kept his mouth shut.

Ruby Moon didn't.

"But we've been out here for AGES looking for him and its cold and wet and we deserve some-"

"Ruby. Moon." Eriol was not going to continue this conversation. Summoning the Wand, he sent them back to his mansion...

  
  


To Be Continued.


End file.
